


The Question

by Lucyverse



Category: In the Flesh (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Abuse, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-03
Updated: 2017-12-03
Packaged: 2019-02-09 22:01:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12897735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lucyverse/pseuds/Lucyverse
Summary: He wants to understand why Simon never kisses him first, as if afraid of being turned away. Why he flinches whenever Kieren shuts the door too hard. Why he looks down at his hands and keeps quiet when Kieren is angry and ranting about something ridiculously unimportant.Why he seems so broken.





	The Question

‘Who hurt you?’

Simon’s paper-white eyes skid to a halt at the end of the paragraph he was pretending to read, then swivel up to meet Kieren’s brown contacts, his expression completely blank, ‘beg your pardon?’

Kieren wishes he had kept his big mouth shut; but he’s been reading all the signs and asking all the right people and he just _needs_ to know what’s going on in Simon’s fortified brain, so he can _help_.

So, he asks again. ‘Who hurt you?’

The hands holding the old, shrivelled copy of _Dickens’s Hard Times_ tense ever so slightly.

Simon loves him, Kieren knows that; but there’s always been a barrier between them, something keeping him slightly at bay, so he can’t see the entirety of Simon Munroe and understand why he’s hurting so much.

But there’s so much that Kieren needs to, _wants_ to understand. He wants to understand why Simon never kisses him first, as if afraid of being turned away. Why he flinches whenever Kieren shuts the door too hard. Why he looks down at his hands and keeps quiet when Kieren is angry and ranting about something ridiculously unimportant. Why he seems so _broken_.

‘I don’t understand the question,’ Simon finally replies with an almost depressive smile; he knows exactly what Kieren is talking about but he’s mentally preparing himself for the conversation he had hoped they would never have, and he needs to buy himself more time.

‘Bullshit,’ Kieren says sharply; not because he’s angry but because his heart is breaking, and he just needs to know who’s done this to Simon,  _his_ Simon, ‘I’m sorry, but please. Don’t shut me out. We promised there’d be no more secrets, remember?’

This touches a nerve in Simon’s insensible body. Kieren already knows what was supposed to happen at the cemetery; about being the “First Risen” and Simon’s orders from the Undead Prophet to kill him. They’ve moved past that now. Kieren has forgiven him.

They’ve talked about what happened at the Treatment Centre too; about Simon’s hellish experience as a guinea pig and the physical and emotional scars he has to show for it (most notably the huge gaping wound on his back exposing his spine.)

No more secrets. Simon promised.

He opens his mouth, his lips drier than usual and asks, ‘did your parents ever hit you?’

Kieren frowns at him, confused, ‘uhm…no. Not that I can remember. They don’t really agree with that sort of thing.’

Simon laughs but it’s still so _sad_ , ‘I wish I had your parents.’

‘Did yours hit you?’

‘My _dad_ hit me. My best friends growing up were the belt and the slipper. Traditional Irish upbringing.’ He puts the book down, letting it drop onto the rug at his feet, ‘the night he threw me out, he gave me the thrashing of my life before putting me on the street. I couldn’t feel a thing but…’

Kieren feels his stomach turn at the thought, ‘I’m sorry. If I had known, I—’

‘I’m not unique,’ Simon cuts in, ‘loads of kids are raised that way and turn out fine. But it fucked me up badly. And then there was Julien…’

The green-eyed monster slowly creeps its way into the room but Kieren tries to keep it away, ‘was he your boyfriend?’

‘Hardly,’ Simon grunts, ‘I was completely alone and had no one else and I clung to anyone who paid any bloody attention to me. If you want to call that a “boyfriend” then—’

‘He beat you, didn’t he?’

Silence. Simon looks down at the discarded book, wondering if he should pick it up. ‘It wasn’t as bad as it sounds. I was so used to it…and it’s not like it hurt or anything. I had a really bad habit of winding people up the wrong way and Julien happened to have a temper—’

‘Simon,’ Kieren is almost whispering and he sounds desperate, ‘I know you don’t want to talk about it and that you’re going to think up a million excuses to make it justifiable – “ _I deserved it_ ,” “ _he was in a bad place_ ,” “ _I couldn’t even feel it, so it doesn’t matter_ ,” – but Jesus Christ, it wasn’t your fault, Simon. None of it was your fault and don’t you dare say it was, because it _wasn’t_. And if anyone _ever_ tries to hurt you again…’

If Kieren still had tear ducts, he’s almost certain he would have broken the dam by now. A sob rises in his throat, but he swallows it down and holds out his arms instead, ‘come here.’

Simon watches him for a moment, his barriers slowly beginning to crumble; then he gets up and crawls on top of Kieren, so he can hide his face in the crook of his pale neck and let himself fall apart for once. One of Kieren’s hands tangles gently in his jet-black hair while the other strokes along the ridge of his back.  

‘I’ll never hurt you, Simon,’ Kieren whispers between the kisses that he scatters along Simon’s jaw, making a mental oath that he will hunt down and _destroy_ anyone who dares lay a hand on his boyfriend, ‘I promise. I love you and I’ll _never_ hurt you.’

Simon doesn’t make a verbal reply; he just closes his eyes, nuzzles his face further into his neck and clasps one of Kieren’s white hands in his own, gently squeezing as if to say, “ _I know_.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever Siren fic, so it's probably not that great but I wanted to share it anyway.


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